"On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..."
Don't recall what the gift was in the traditional song, but for me
today, the gift was silence...a blessed, blissful silence. You see,
after two days of continuous people, I am relishing the peace
and quiet and alone-ness.
Now, don't get me wrong, or think I am totally Grinchy. I adore
having the family all together...eating together...talking and
playing board games and arguing (friendly, to be sure) and just
being family together. And I wouldn't have the holiday any other
way. But I live alone...have a one-person household. And, for
those of you familiar with Myers-Briggs testing, I am an INFP...
which means that, though I like people, they innervate me, sap
me of strength, use up every ounce of my energy. And this morning,
when the last of my family departed at 9a.m., I was in the throes
of a splitting headache. So, it was back to bed in a darkened
room, sleeping until 2:30p.m. when I awoke, feeling mostly better,
and headed for the shower.
I wanted to include some of the photos I took over the weekend
of my beautiful family...but my little camera has mysteriously
disappeared. I just texted everyone, asking if anyone saw it or
moved it or put it somewhere for safe-keeping. And I figure it
must be somewhere...and will turn up at a future time when I
least expect it. In the meantime, I can turn the images over
again and again in the pages of my memory album, seeing the
smiles, hearing the laughter, cherishing the hugs, reveling in
the beautiful people who make up this family of mine. I can
close my eyes and see the faces of each and all of the grands...
each so wonderfully unique and precious. Come to think of it,
even if the camera never turns up (though I would hate to lose
it), the photos taken just aren't necessary for me to recall each
moment of the weekend past.
But just for today, I am delighted to be alone...far from lonely,
as I catch up with on-line correspondence, write a few notes
in response to Christmas cards, enjoy the flickering flames
in the fireplace, and enumerate the various ornaments on the
tree, recalling their provenance and cherishing the very special
memories they engender. Just for today, I am contented to be
by myself...to BE myself...the introvert who longs for, who needs
the peace and quiet to re-energize...to re-fill my tank with the
ability to be with as well as to simply BE...
So, to my wonderful family- thank you for those two marvelous
days...for your presence and participation...for being who you
are, each and every one of you. Thank you for holding this
family time as important, as essential in your life, as it surely
is in mine. Thank you for putting up with my idiosyncracies and
just plain nuttiness. Thank you for gifting me annually with the
traditional celebration of this holiday which has long meant so
much to our extended family. Thank you for your love and
compassion and acceptance. I love you...even as I enjoy and
appreciate this "recovery time" alone. My life would be incomplete