Tuesday, September 20, 2016


October second is the anniversary of the death of my husband, Carl, many years ago, but each late September, as summer turns to autumn, a miasma of depression grasps me, coloring many of the days with a grayness which saps strength and purpose. I have been here often enough to know it is temporary, but it always sneaks up on me and hits me in the solar plexus with a sucker punch of a grief I long felt was over and done. Guess the work of grief never ends...really.

"Tears on my pillow,
  Pain in my heart..."
Words from long ago,
sung in a different time,
    for a different reason-
the bemoaning wail of
young love gone wrong-
but for me, on this autumn day
in my seventy-fourth year,
the dirge-like sound echoes
the grayness of the day,
the brokenness of my heart,
as I grieve for a lost love,
       a lost life,
       dreams shattered,
        a family bereft and adrift.
Try as I will, I cannot lift
the fog of depression
drawing me into its depths
where each September finds me,
holding me captive in the thrall
of memory and pain and loss
       and sorrow.
Tears on my pillow,
pain in my heart...
         even as I whisper to myself,
          "And this, too, shall pass."

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Poetry from a Questioning Heart...

reading the Bible
It is not in the book
but in the being
that we find spiritual truth...
and yet scriptures are
revered...elevated to a holy place,
words cherry-picked and
used as weapons and as warnings,
not as wisdom or as welcome...
words quoted, cited, spoken with a towering authority-
     and all the while, the very ones who claim the words
     promote fear and hate, exclusion, war...
     while words of love, acceptance, and forgiveness
     get lost somewhere...forgotten...
and the One called God,
      the One called Love,
      the One Creator of us all
           gets pushed aside and
           Book takes center stage...
as we forget to LIVE the message
                   to BE the truth
                   to co-create a world of love
                   to worship with out daily lives

tell me
Tell me, someone, please...
tell me when 'salvation'
changed from living out God's will
on earth, in the here and now, in
the everydayness of our lives
to being a ticket to paradise
in the sweet by-and-by.

Tell me, someone, please...
tell me when 'in heaven' became
far more important than 'on earth',
when doing unto others became
a Brownie-point accruing enterprise
rather than a holy way of life.

Tell me, some one, please...
tell me when and by whom it was
decided that only one path leads
to God, while the rest are
only detours leading to perdition.

Tell me, someone, please...
tell me when and how the
God of Love became a repository
for exclusivity and judgment.

Tell me, someone, please...
tell me how you can decide the
validity and value of the God
I have come to know.

Tell me someone, please...
                       if you can...

decision-making power
Who decides how things are
'supposed' to be? Who has made the
determination that having white skin
is better than having black...or brown..
or red...or yellow? That being male and
having balls is preferable to being female
and having a uterus which can bear life?
That bringing a child into the world
to be neglected and abused is morally
superior to choosing not to have it at all?
That by denying something you do not
want to believe is true over & over & over
again, you can make your opinion reality?

Who decides what is truly 'true'? For
once some believed (some still do)
that slavery was right- denied that people
with a darker skin were even really
'human', seeing them as unthinking,
unfeeling creatures. Once some
believed (some still do) that women
were the property of men, fit only to
do the bidding, bend to the will of
father or husband, denying their
intellects, denigrating their minds.
Once some believed (some still do)
that homosexuality was a sinful choice-
seeing those whose sexuality was
different from their own as a threat
to home and hearth and family.

Who makes the rules and sets the limits,
doles out punishment or reward? Who
determines which religious path leads
ultimately to unity with God? And who
decides that my path, my thoughts,
my beliefs, my ideas have less validity
than yours? or his? or hers? or theirs?
Who decides???

Monday, September 12, 2016

There is Nowhere the Divine is Not...

     all beyond my human understanding
     even as scientists seek solutions
     and theologians develop creeds...
     even as philosophers question
     and psychologists explain...
in and through and beneath it all
breaths the Holy Energy which enlivens-
     whether or not we can explain
     or comprehend...
I AM WHO I AM, Holiness whispers...
     and i- finite  creature that i am-
     can only open wide my arms and
     fall into Divine Acceptance-
           no explanations necessary.