A wet and windy Wednesday morning to you all, dear ones, wherever you are. Sitting here in my little rattan chair, waiting for the sun to rise, or at least for more light to appear on the horizon, my mind is filled with images great and small, sad and hopeful, dreadful and lovely...the devastation which continues to rock Japan set alongside the very real progress being made by my son, Paul, as he negotiates his way out of depression and hopelessness with the help of medication, therapy, and loving support. The scary news of the seemingly-overwhelming problems with the Japanese nuclear power plant set beside the blooming of daffodils and forsythia and Bradford pear trees and tulip magnolias throughout our small city. Oxymoronic images, it seems...and i can let them pull me into despair, bounce me into elation, or i can dwell with them, one at a time, letting each wash over me, enter into me, so i can hold and consider and FEEL what each one engenders within me. It takes time, doesn't it, this business of living life?...of permitting yourself to understand that you are part of the whole, the cycle of life which is continually unfolding...to know, to believe, that what affects one affects all... that knowing empathy and compassion are conditional on taking the time to FEEL what you feel and dwell with it for a while.
As the sky becomes ever lighter and i can see down into the yard where the violets are beginning to bloom, i am thinking of each and all of you, holding you in my heart, and wishing for you a day filled with precious moments of pause...of peace. May you find purpose and fulfillment, and if you fail and fall, may there be someone to pick you up, give you a hug, and send you on your way once again. Most of you, may you know you are loved.
The images race across
the TV screen...sound bites
barely allowing time for
one to sink in, to be felt, to resonate,
before racing on to another...
discombobulating my thoughts,
my emotions, my reactions...
the rip tide of what i see bearing
me along with my head barely above water,
swimming for my life!
Oh, for the sound of the singing wren,
the swaying branches of the maple tree
outside my window, the slow, lovely
lightening of the eastern sky...
oh, for the deep, gentle sound of my
breath, reminding me of life's presence...
BEING ALIVE TAKES TIME...
attention...breathing deeply into
the present moment with its thoughts
and feelings, and abiding there,
instead of racing on to the "next thing"
whatever that might be.
HERE is where i am...
NOW is what i know...
Let me dwell in its reality-
its pain and sorrow as well as its
joy and delight- for a time...
Let me stay...breathe...open...
Beig alive- fully alive- takes time.