Sunday, April 27, 2014

Night Dreams...

I was tired last evening, so I went to bed early- about 9:30- and
fell quickly into a deep sleep. I became caught up in a dream and
I abruptly awoke at 12:30a.m. with an image clearly in my mind...
a phrase which had come from I-know-not-where but which would
not let me rest until I had put it down on paper, lest it be forgotten
by morning. And so I grabbed my journal and my pen and wrote...
and the phrase turned into complete thoughts and the thoughts
turned into verses...and what emerged in the wee hours of Sunday
morning were these lines...

star light, star bright...
I dreamed myself among the stars
soaring through space
weightless yet still embodied
                          still myself
my head thrown back in utter joy
as, freely borne, I saw in
the Milky Way a light-filled path
     to where? Eternity? Infinity?
Like thistledown blown by the wind,
my flight imposed no destination, no goal
                           only wonder
                                    amazement at the sights
                                               my eyes beheld
and I awoke fearless...
      doubt and anxiety left behind
      among the ether, amidst the stars
                           of whose very dust I am created
      guided by the hope-filled starlight
                           into another day.

Thinking I could now get back to sleep, I was once again
grasped and held by other thoughts...other images...and so
I wrote again:

uneasy aging...
I will not go gently into that good night,
have no intention of slipping quietly off this mortal coil.
NO! I will be kicking and screaming
     until the end, clinging tightly to life, to living,
     not because I fear what lies ahead-
          for who truly knows what that is?-
    BUT simply because I cherish this life, this world
                 so much, with its wonders and beauty and pain and struggle-
            simply because I have loved it all- though some of it,
                admittedly, in retrospect-
            the hills and valleys, light and darkness, joys and woes-
            every bit of it valuable and oh-so-precious.
This human existence has been incredibly rich and deep
and I will leave it only with
the deepest sadness and reluctance,
     clutching the waning days and months and years
          with both hands,
               determined to wring from it every drop,
               and savoring every delicious taste of honey
                              on my tongue.    

Then it was time to crawl back into my comfortable bed, 
snuggle under the covers, and slip back into the dark and 
comfortable blanket of sleep until the morning light.

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