It seems the decision is made...I actually contacted a realtor and
I've been driving around, looking at some apartment complexes
in the Greensboro area. And the voice which continues to accompany
me is that of Joan Chittister in Following the Path. This morning,
I read, "...the feeling of being in the wrong place gets so strong
it can be painful," to which I could only add in the margins of the
book, "YES" in resounding agreement. For that is indeed how I
have been feeling...that I am no longer in the right place for
this time of my life...which means that I must risk...dare...step
out in the faith that I am doing the right thing for me.
No easy decision, I can assure you. After all, it will be truly
life-changing. I have spoken with all three of my children and
have received support and encouragement on every front.
I think they are finally beginning to realize that Mom is no
longer young...nor even middle-aged...that even though I do
quite well for my age, none of us knows what the future will
bring and I need to be preparing myself for that, as far as I
possibly can- as do they.
It's an interesting and challenging adventure, this aging thing.
And there is no way to really be prepared emotionally for
the changes which happen in the body, even if and when the
mind and heart are strong and filled with the energy of
youth. I remember my 92-year-old mother saying to me,
"When I look in the mirror, I see an old lady, but inside,
I still feel like I'm eighteen." Me, too, Mom; me, too. But
the challenge of a three-level house with a large yard is
becoming more than I can- or want to- handle any longer.
It would be nice to have my living space all on one floor,
and to not be concerned with yard work and upkeep. And
property taxes keep rising, as do my homeowner's
insurance and utilities.
So, if you know anyone who might be interested in a
charming cottage of a house in High Point, on a lovely
shaded street near the hospital and the library, let me
know. I have lived here very happily for twelve years,
and it would make me delighted to have someone buy
it who falls in love with it at first sight, as I did. I will
surely miss the screened porch and the deck, but my
life and my home will have a new shape...as I take the
leap into the future. To be continued...