a prophetic voice-

Written on August 31, 2004: My firstborn child, Carl, died while scuba diving in Mexico in 1993, at the age of twenty-eight. I had already experienced the death of a husband and the death of a beloved younger sister. Perhaps those losses had prepared me in some small way for this life-wracking pain… but I must confess, it never really goes away, this agony from the loss of a child.   The best proof we have of the hidden gift in every struggle is the fact that we survived the last one. -Joan Chittister today's memories He would have been forty-three, my eldest son, born in the wee hours of this day, all those many years                                                          ago, to a frightened ...

I’m finding it difficult to organize my thoughts, my feelings…finding it difficult to explain myself to myself, let alone to anyone else. And I find myself retreating into, taking refuge in, the comforting familiarity of my former life, the life in which I have been dwelling for some years now…perhaps for half a lifetime. I don’t know…I don’t remember…I can’t make sense of any of it. The images in my mind run rampant…the long, dreadful walk into the bowels of Kibera along the muddy, filth-strewn, germ-laden path past houses which could not even lay claim to that name…dirt-floored hovels without windows where empty-eyed, snot-nosed children in rags sat in doorways, staring as we walked by, the “rich” muzungus, heading to Tabitha’s Clinic, an oasis of cleanliness and sanity in a world seemingly gone mad. The dark stairway leading to the apartment home of Julius and Beatrice and their children, the hall smelling of urine and damp with mold, as neighborhood children crowded around us...

The storm has passed, though its effects will be felt in many places for many days. New York City skated by with far less damage than feared, while Vermont braces for record-breaking flooding. And so it goes...all the while we humans try to predict and spell out and understand, making plans and prognostications, Nature behaves in unproscribed ways, surprising us again and again, reminding us that we are simply human- with all that means, to be sure- but human nevertheless. and some things are simply beyond our ken and control. And so, this morning, I send out my love and care and concern to those who have been in Irene's oxymoronic path...even as I hold close those who grieve, those who are alone, those who don't know or appreciate their own value and uniqueness, those for whom death approaches. May this be a holy day for each one of them and you as you seek to walk the path before you. May you celebrate the gift of your humanity, your creation as a child of God. Blessings, d...

The breath-taking, sublime beauty of a Bach violin concerto begins my day, accompanied by the songbird chorus resounding from the trees, while distant traffic sounds add a counterpoint of modernity, as the barking of neighborhood dogs interposes a staccato line to the morning symphony. In the midst of this morning's glorious sounds, I am ever mindful of the hurricane which is bearing down upon the NC shore and the Northeast and so I offer this prayer: O Great Protector, O Source of Strength, be with those in the path of Hurricane Irene; grant them courage and wisdom and shelter from the storm. Even as our part of the country rejoices in the prospect of rain,  the already-saturated northeast fears what this weekend may bring.  May they be comforted and may help be at hand. As our beleagured planet seeks to right and balance itself, may we refrain from shaking fists of blame and instead offer open arms of assistance... your arms in our human flesh.   ...

I l ove learning something new every day...today's surprise came during my "quiet time", bringing a gasp of wonder. Perhaps it will surprise you, too. The word RANDOM originally referred to that moment when a horse at full speed has all four hooves off the ground...a moment of total freedom and unbridled energy, for when a horse has all four feet off the ground it is flying...holding nothing back. Perhaps it needs to be that for us, too...being at random...that moment of going with whatever is happening, whatever the situation, trusting in the goodness and friendliness of the Universe, allowing whatever touches us to change our direction...LETTING GO.      R isking everything    A llowing whatever happens, to BE    N ot holding back or closing off    D aring to go with the flow    O pening heart and mind and life    M aking the leap and flying!  

Strength of heart comes from knowing that the pain that we each must bear is part of the greater pain shared by all that lives. -Jack Kornfield morning prayer IV Not grasping, but groping,    I begin my    morning prayer...    letting my heart    break open with    the pain of the world...    the pain in which I share... Holy Mystery, ground of Being,    I lay myself open,    offer myself to be guided,    to be used as an instrument    in the healing of the world.           My bit is small- but           it IS my bit...           as important as that              of every other being           who walks this planet,      ...

A re-made heart...a re-shaped life...the results of my summer trip to East Africa, though I do not yet know what the final shape will be. Once again, I am struggling with direction...purpose...service...so perhaps, just for today, I will stop struggling and simply rest in the arms of Holy Divinity, certain that S/He will whisper instructions in my ear, when I am open and ready to hear. Only hope can give us the courage to face the future and to stand deeply in the present without running from it. -Matthew Fox psalm of the breaking-open heart What is causing my heart to break wide open?      The pain I see & hear            around me…      the need & struggle &             frustration of so many…       scenes of war, famine, & flood...          ...