A Gray Day...

psalm of despair 

words evade me this morning, and

depression envelopes me as surely

as the fog outside hides the sun

from my view.

loneliness creeps up on silent feet

and God seems far away.

an imposter- that is how i feel

a poser, acting as if my heart is

filled with God, yet stumbling along

this path alone...alone...alone...

how i envy those who seem so sure,

so certain of the ways and means

of God- for i am not.

wise answers evade me and

every ounce of energy is required

just to keep me on my feet.

i hurt for so many people, yet feel

shackled by my doubts and fears,

my uncertainty.

i want to hide my face, as you

have hidden yours, O God.

i want to stay within my safe,

comfortable space and

let the world go by.

so just for today, Spirit of Comfort,

comfort me...hold me safe beneath your wings.

wipe away my tears and

let me know that weeping is

the way in which my heart is

washed clean of all the pain

and doubt and fear.

comfort me, O God, and hold

the hand of this stumbling,

despairing child until my

strength returns and

i can stand again.