Life has been reminding me lately that I am not in control of it...not
my own, nor anyone else's. Unexpected death, ongoing illness, and
my carefully-planned schedule is turned on its ear. Like the weather
in this part of Carolina, things can change in the twinkling of an eye,
and the path I'm navigating becomes uneven, rocky, giving me no
sense of what lies around the next corner. Many of my recent
days, in fact, have felt like I was stumbling along in the dark, or at
least in a murky fog in which I am uncertain where next to place my
foot, lest I stumble and fall headlong into who-knows-what.
My prayers have become pleas, I'm afraid, for peace...for strength...
for courage...not only for myself but for so many I love. And I cling
ever firmly to the Incarnation of Divine Love made known to me in
the countless friends in countless places who have been supporting
and uplifting me. How would I ever survive without them? But then,
I don't think I'm supposed to...survive without them, I mean. I
believe that we are all in this endeavor called "Life" together; that
we are intended to be there for one another, so that when I am weak,
you are strong; when you are weeping, I can dry your tears, and
when life is joy-filled, we can celebrate together.
As I sit here on this chilly February afternoon, tired and without
much energy, contemplating the task of completing a sermon to
preach tomorrow morning trying to use a brain which has turned to
mush, I am overwhelmed, truly overwhelmed. Oh, it's been rattling
around in there all week, yet making sense of it all seems beyond
my poor capabilities at the moment. And so, I'm throwing myself
into the Everlasting Arms, making one of my plea-prayers that the
Divine One will fill me with wisdom, and if not wisdom, at least a
bit of energy and determination for truth-telling, sharing my
weakness and humanity with people who mostly love me, as I love
them. Perhaps, together, we can seen through the fog and darkness
in our lives to the place of light on the Mount of Transfiguration.
Perhaps, together, we can see our individual lives transformed by
that holy Love which uplifts and transforms us all and makes of
us a community of faith. May this truly be so.