Don't ask me why I'm so worn out today, so emotionally and
physically drained on this Easter Monday. I just am. Guess if
I'm going to be kind, generous, and loving to myself, I'll
acknowledge that the past week has been...well, challenging,
to say the least. Not just the spiritually demanding nature of
the worship on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, both of
which I truly love, but both of which exact a deep toll from me.
Not just the Saturday morning confirmation class with four
kids I truly love. Not just the Easter worship, with its demanding
proclamation...yes, demanding, since those sitting in the pews
have heard it so often that it is a preaching challenge to not
sound like a broken record. Each and all of these required hours of
preparation, and as much as I enjoy preparation, those efforts truly
sapped me of energy.
But this Holy Week there was the additional emotional burden...well,
not burden, exactly, but a heavy weight of responsibility, to be
sure...of the reality of a precious friend and congregation member
being committed into Hospice care. Don't misunderstand- I am both
thankful and delighted that she has made this choice. In fact, in light
of her diagnosis and declining health, I had encouraged her to
consider this. But this step means that all of us who love her must
come face-to-face with not only her mortality, but our own.
Preaching resurrection was a bit more difficult this Easter, though
I cling to and believe in the promise of new life. Still, being
confronted by truth in all its many forms can be exhausting...and
So, I'm attempting to be easy on myself today, to permit myself to
rest in the arms of the One Who Loves, secure in the knowledge that
what is to come does not depend on me...secure in the promise
that new life is continual and ongoing and everlasting.
Thanks be to God.