a prophetic voice-

The best-laid plans...why do they do often go astray? Perhaps to remind us that, in the long haul of things, life is not in our control... that things happen- like snowstorms and respiratory viruses...like the death of a beloved son and the birthday of another. In spite of my best intentions to do the daily yoga challenge during Lent, beginning on Ash Wednesday, here I am on Sunday with nothing begun. Yet looking out the window yesterday, seeing the winds pulling the trees this way and that, I realized...I realize that this IS life...this buffeting, this being tossed, this having to respond to happenings rather than controlling them. And it is, after all, our response to what happens that determines who we are, who we will become. Exactly nineteen years ago, my life was devastated by a single phone call telling me of the death of my oldest son...and for nearly two years I was "dead"...inside nothing lived- or so it seemed. Oh, I funtioned, went through the motions, kept p...

According to the Farmers' Almanac, North Carolina was supposed to get snow today- so it arrived one day early. Still, not bad for predicting a year in advance, especially with regards to the weather here in the Piedmont, which can change from hour-to-hour, let alone day-to-day. Looking out the windows of my study, I can see the pristine white of the yard, the white icing on the tree branches. But all too soon, as the temperatures rise today, the snow white beauty will disappear, and by mid-week the weather prognosticators are promising temperatures in the sixties. Reminders that this is one area of life (of course there are many, but we like to fool ourselves) which we cannot control...which operates on its own natural cycle. Oh, yes, as a species we can impact it on a grand, overall scale, and we should be ever mindful of that. But here in High Point, NC, sitting at my desk, gazing out the window, I can only marvel at the surprises and glories and wonders of the natural world- and...

Ah! the sky lightens... not quite seven and the day is dawning. Day break- yet it does not break at all but creeps in silently on tiptoe as the barely perceptible changes in the sky whisper of the sun's coming. Night gives way gently to day... the moon fadng slowly as the sun's light overtakes hers outshines her, sending her into deep sleep until its setting invites her back into the eastern sky, while the dying light of the sun paints the western horizon with an indescribable palette of color...and the gloaming settles gently into the velvet dark of night.      Another day of living...      another day. 

My life keeps re-shaping itself, as new opportunities present themselves, new doors open, new windows are flung open to let in unexpected light. My position as Chaplain at the Lutheran Home Winston-Salem is proving to be one of those. First steps were tentative at best, as I found myself asking myself over and over again what it meant to be ministering in such a place, where so many of the residents seem "out of reach" to the conventional, comfortable, safe ways of doing ministry. But slowly, gradually, Love has showed its beautiful face and I am learning to share that love with people who are becoming ever dearer to me as the days go by. One challenge has been a woman who is profoundly deaf...and each time I stopped by to see her, the experience was frustrating for both of us, as communication seemed impossible. Physically unable to write, she seems trapped in a world of silence, broken only by the moving mouths of those caring for her. Frustrated by my seeming inability t...

It was two years ago today that my mother died...two years ago on the last day of January...except that year, 2010, the last day of January fell on a Sunday. A beautiful snowfall on the previous day blanketed the outside world in silent, still whiteness and the sunlight shimmered and shone, reflecting off the surface of the snow, giving everything the look of newness- the whole world pristine and glowing and lovely. It was the perfect day for Mom's departure and welcome into that other realm where loved ones awaited with open arms to embrace her and carry her "home".  sunday's dying Brilliant sunlight reflects off pristine backyard snow as i draw open the curtains, light two candles, and prepare to draw my mother into the shared circle of worship. Never mind that she has not responded since yesterday morning...never mind that her breathing is labored and her heartbeat is wildly irregular... never mind that her skin feels hot and clammy......

psalm of despair   words evade me this morning, and depression envelopes me as surely as the fog outside hides the sun from my view. loneliness creeps up on silent feet and God seems far away. an imposter- that is how i feel a poser, acting as if my heart is filled with God, yet stumbling along this path alone...alone...alone... how i envy those who seem so sure, so certain of the ways and means of God- for i am not. wise answers evade me and every ounce of energy is required just to keep me on my feet. i hurt for so many people, yet feel shackled by my doubts and fears, my uncertainty. i want to hide my face, as you have hidden yours, O God. i want to stay within my safe, comfortable space and let the world go by. so just for today, Spirit of Comfort, comfort me... hold me safe beneath your wings. wipe away my tears and let me know that weeping is the way in which my heart is washed clean of all the pain and doubt and fear. comfort me, O God, and hold the hand...

Away from home- Safe, familiar, comfortable home- I am nonetheless safe In this familiar, comfortable place Where I have come, with heavy heart And overburdened spirit, To be refreshed, renewed, re-birthed. Tears have flowed freely, frequently, Washing me clean of the anger I so often Fail to acknowledge, even to myself... Wiping away the many vestiges of doubt And second-guessing which have been marking my days. Prayers have flowed- or perhaps It has been one continuous prayer, As music has surrounded and filled me, As silence has nourished and sated my spirit, And lots of sleep has healed my body and mind. Tomorrow, I return home- Back to life, back to work, back to The innumerable people who now inhabit my days, And I find I am filled with a precious peace, A sense of all-is-well-ness. The near-empty heart I brought with me Is now filled to overflowing as once again, O Mysterious and Marvelous God, You have sought and found me, and loved me full. Grati...